Random

After writing my previous post, which is actually a poem written by me, i figured out actually that poem has some sick thoughts inside as well..However, it just depends on how you want to see,understand or interpret it.
My finals are here.I had one so far,from computer science,which did not really go well.At least i finished my journalism final project before the finals started.with this laziness of mine,it would never happen,otherwise. I am kinda trying to do my theatre project,which did not go in the way i wanted it.I'm just hoping that the props i am doing do not fall apart until the morning..
One week later i will be leaving this place after 4 months..The day before yesterday, i had dinner with two American girls,which is an improvement.They were really nice people,both from California.
This week is going horrible,i feel like sleeping 24/7,and this should really not be happening. I have a math final on friday, which i havent really started studying yet.

Anyways.Today i was doing my sound project for theatre with one of my classmates, and we found this song on internet, "Angle theme". Although the song was not a complete one, it sounds really nice. Something similar to Apocalyptica style.
Yesterday night when i went to bed it was around 2.30am i guess, and i woke up at 4.40am, talked on the phone for 3.5 hours. i think that was one of the nicest conversations i have had in the past a couple of weeks..

There are things i dont understand in myself..It feels like i am looking or creating reasons to make myself feel messed up..i mean yes of course there are things which does not really go well in my life, but still...i dont like being this depressed person.
I dont wanna lose anyone in my life..
nothing more..

Random

if(Money==Sth) {return SHIT} ;

I was thinking how actually disgusting it is to be completely dependent on money..A couple of days ago i was talking with one of my good friends here, and suddenly we started talking about money..We both figured out that we do not really want money..I just need money to go and visit my friends..And to buy presents(i think i m stupid,i like giving presents maybe even more than getting)..
Some people think money is the center..No...
No matter how money-centered world it is ,which we are living in, there are things that money still cannot afford..
-A warm,tight hug(not kind of the ones which you stand up as if someone stick up sth up your ass)
-Love
-Health(yes,if you have money you can go to doctor and maybe get cured,if it s sth which is not hopeless..but still, being healthy and not needing to be cured cannot be bought)
-Friendship(i dont think i wanna keep my friends only by constantly feeding them with money)
-A comfortable breath
-Comfortable sleep(without thinking you corrupted or cheated someone in order to be wealthy)
etc..
I think it is possible to count a lot of things..Like intelligence..or you can just do as US government does..They dont have money but they buy intelligence of other people..
Fuck the system:)

btw, i am listening to The Ark for the second time in my life.I liked it.The first time i listened to it i remember i had a short meeting in History classroom(the one opposite to the norwegian classroom) for yearbook sth.And K. was sitting there and told me to listen the song she was currently listening to.And it was from the Ark.And today i suddenly remembered that memory and asked k. to send me some songs..She did,and i m listening to them right now.Thanks to k. :)
My favourite for tonight is "the most radical thing to do"..The song is pathetic a bit..however,maybe that is why i liked it;)Here are the lyrics..

The most radical thing to do(The Ark)

I could punch your face When you say im good
I could dress in lace and paint my face And go out on a cruise
In the neighbourhood

Become a prostitute Or become a priest
I could fuck anyone Every girl, every boy
At least one in every town Thats to say the least
- Wouldnt that be radical? - Wouldnt that be radical?
(But)

The most radical thing to do Is to love someone who loves you
Even when the world is seemingly Telling you not to
I dont know whats wrong or right But i know whats worth a fight
The most radical thing is to do what Your heart tells you to
Cause i do assure You that i do adore you

I could cut myself And take it to the streets
I could dress like a freak Leave my blankets in a heap.
Stop brushing my teeth for ninety weeks Throw down the government
Become the president I could try every drug
Or give everyone a hug Set every prisoner free And claim im Jesus son

- Wouldnt that be radical?
- Yes all of that would be radical all right

But the most radical thing to do Is to love someone who loves you
Even when the world is seemingly Telling you not to
I dont know whats wrong or right But i know whats worth a fight
The most radical thing is to do what Your heart tells you to
Cause i do assure You that i do adore you

I wish that i could be that radical That radical
I wish that i could be that radical That radical

P.S:In case you wonder about the title,(if you are illiterate about computer science like i am),this is an if statement for java class file.:)

if(Money==Sth) {return SHIT} ;

What would you rather?

Is it better to live sth but then be obliged to leave and miss...or not live anything..not know anything about those people,those places..
Sometimes i ask myself, when i become extremely nostalgic and meloncolic, if it would be easier being totally unaware of Flekke..Would it?
If someone told me many years before that i would go to a land, where there are northern lights, all the time rainy, depressing days, and sometimes all the time lightful days..i would give them a Kip Somner look and say: "are you kidding me? "
But..but..I did it..i have been to there..And now, many times i feel nostalgic..remember the places i have been..i feel like, norway was my real home.
In 3weeks i m going home for winter break.And i have this weird feeling..I feel as if i m going back to norway..i dont know why..One of my friends here, who is from RCN as well,a third year, told me once that her nationality has become UWC since she graduated from RCN and came here..I m exactly the same..
Would i feel better if i have never been to there, never known all those people? No...
Yes, i wouldnt be remembering all those memories of past,or feeling sad because of longing for them..Because i wouldnt even know that they exist..
On the other hand, i also wouldnt have those weird memories, the kind of the ones which one can live and experience only once.I wouldnt have started smoking,if i hadnt gone to norway and had IB stress..(can you believe it..what a pity it would be if i hadnt started smoking:) )or..i wouldnt know about gazillion different languages that exists in this planet..(well i still cannot speak, but i know what they are at least) I wouldnt laugh at people when they were trying to imitate other people's languages..
But, i also wouldnt be remembering these, most probably wouldnt be studying here in US, (which wouldnt be a lost, at all), wouldnt be someone who thinks about the past a lot..
I dont know..Hard to answer..What do you think? Can you answer for me..Would you rather.....

P.S:Pictures are taken in Norway, by another blogger i know..Northern lights and the college at night.They are 100% natural, no artificial lights or reflections..

What would you rather?